Unfinished like me. i choose to let it be
I have two names. They meet and they depart…..
And two languages, I have forgotten in which I used to dream.
I have English for writing, it’s vocabulary is obedient,
Yet, I have another language from the dialogue of the Heavens
- Mahmoud Darwaish
Dialogue of the Heavens, it is what helps a man exist.
It is what holds the emptiness in a man’s heart and Keeps him alive.
Always keeping the ‘Canvas Blank’ that what i call it and maybe that is the reason i write these blogs once or twice a year, only living is not enough ? Keep this muscle alive (also) but how many completely opposite sides can coexist in a person - A man asks
Life does not forgive you for not picking your permanent colours. You question future or your existence in it, your values change so do your questions and perception, at one point uncertanity of life is the biggest curse for you, you look at their grave and remember all the plans they had made with you. A friend, your family..
Slowly each part of you dies and you fall into the nihilism and learn to live with this absurdity but you
what about the colors that existed because of them, in next life? or this is an inevitable part of being a man where you romanticize questions that have no answers. You find comfort, a safe place in your internal conflict that gives meaning to doing things living this life, an equivocal reality with countless possibilties because the emptiness also has no meaning like something heavy in your chest that just exists from losing your childhood ? After that you kill each person you become as life demands but what about the child, he was what others demanded? Is sense of belonging or love you call it, the ultimate meaning for existence.
Was man made to be perfect and not belong?
Identity is like smoke, real but you can’t grab it. \
After Death
I am from there. I am from here But neither am I there, nor here.